I WANT TO LIVE IN A TREE-HOUSE
SWEET
Part of me…
Wishes I was a simple girl. Simple girls, as I’ve learnt from Grey’s Anatomy (judge me as you will), live to find the perfect man, get married, have kids and live happily ever after. I think I was once that sort of girl. When I was much younger and still believed in love and Disney endings. Now I’m not a simple girl. I don’t want any of those things. Not at least for another 10 or 15 years, but even then, I don’t want the 2.4 family and successful husband. It’s not me.
I like being on my own.
Sometimes it’s lonely. Especially after several glasses of red wine - nature’s pro-depressant. But it gives plenty of time to think, draw, paint, write anything I want to really. I like finding myself, or more to the point, I’d like to find myself.
I’m not made to fit in to my family type family. I want more for myself. Not that I look down at people who want the family and the life that comes with it, I just don’t think it’s enough for me. That is most definitely where it went wrong with FL - I wasn’t prepared to settle.
I don’t believe in love, there’s just people who are more chemically reactive to eachother, and some times these people are reactive enough to believe that they could spend the rest of their lives together and therefore get married. Some people call me sad for thinking like this, but I think it’s smart - if I say so myself. It saves emotions. What’s worse is that sometimes the reaction between people die and they either get divorced or simply stay with eachother for many retarded reasons - I WILL NEVER BE ONE OF THOSE.
This time at my parents has given me a lot of space, as well as reminding me of all the memories that this town will forever hold over me. Yes, I’ve wished for the treatment on EternalSunshineOfASpotlessMind, but then who would I be? Everything shit happens for a reason and I should grow up and use them as life lessons. It’s too short to hate myself for the rest of my life, too short to repeat the same mistakes and too short for routine.
I am too aloof for people sometimes. But they should accept it and get over it or just move on. I’m done pleasing people. Well unless they’re in my bed but that’s another story.
So, I go back home tomorrow with a marginally clearer head.
RamblingMadeiraCake
PAZ
So its been an even longer while…
Sooo… as I lie here after a night out where I should, unashamed to say, either be as twatted as an old man at a discount strip club or naked with someone I’m seeing, I’m actually feeling annoyingly uneasy due to dramatic attention queens and arrongantly rude people.
First of all, since the last time I posted anything, Giant has since had a baby with his ex - actually happy for them, I was seeing someone else for nearly four months but that did, as most things do, fizzle out. I started seeing some else, even though I was (and still am) determined to stay single until uni is done with, who was (and again - still is) an absolute DICKWAD. Enough on him. And now I am constantly busy with uni work, my job, and organising dates around my busy schedule. I’m pretty sure the fact I have recently started wearing contact lenses has something to do with the new interest in me.
Now, for the reason why tonight has been mediocre. It should have been fantastic, as it was one of my closest friends birthdays, and to be fair started out pretty well. But as of recently, I’ve really struggled to get drunk and end up fucked off that I’ve spent so much money and nothing has come out of it. However, I chose to make the most of the night and enjoy myself just with the girls.
But of course, someone always has to start drama, and as most spoilt wet-wipeish girls do, they did indeed. Quite frankly, I don’t have time for it and I DON’T GIVE A SHIT. People need to grow up, get over themselves and learn not to be such cowards and be upfront when there’s a problem, instead of chinese whispering behind my back - I will find out and you can count on me being severely fucked off that you’ve been so spinless.
Secondly, other people, such as FL, need to learn to be polite, and take their arrogant attitudes to the the shitter - where they belong. No, you can’t have what you want from me and then be rude to me in front of your ‘friends’. Again, it doesn’t work, it will piss me off, and make me not want to contact you for a good while. Arrogance will get you NOWHERE.
So, for now, the rants over. Its PonyGirl’s birthday today, and my 21st in 6 days. GOOD TIMES! And if anyone actually cares to read this - if you are either of these types of people - dramatic or arrogant - don’t bother turning up to my birthday, as I may bottle you. FACT
RamblingMadeiraCake
PAZ
Happy Times…
At the moment atleast…
This past week and a half has been hard work but most of it has ended up quite happy.
FirstLove and I had a bit of a falling out over something really stupid which we ended up not knowing what we were arguing about, but it meant that when I said I needed time out, he gave it to me. We haven’t really spoken since. You’d think I’d be upset, but this is good for me, so I didn’t make and won’t make any more stupid mistakes. And we can go on our own ways, leading happy lives, and hopefully, down the line, be friends.
Last Saturday I went out, not expecting much, just to get absolutely twatted (due to the argument with FirstLove) and have fun with my Bezzies. And I did. But I also did something which I have NEVER done before, and went up to a guy and spoke to him, SOBER. It could have gone horrifically wrong, as in most first impressions, I make an absolute idiot of myself, and rarely get the chance to show that I am not a red-faced, mumbling, talking out of my arse twat. But this guy, the barman of the pub we were at, seemed to find me funny (HA!) and asked for my number. Only for me to lose my phone that night… However, he still text me a couple of days later checking if I had got my phone back, after the police had rung him saying they had my phone. And we’ve been talking everyday since. We’ve also been on two dates. So you can see why this has been a happy week. I’ve decided to call him Giant, on the pure fact that he is 6 foot 7, I’m 5’4…
And I’ve not purged in 3 days! 3 DAYS!
The only thing I need now is a new job, and then I will be COMPLETELY happy :)
RamblingMadeiraCake
PAZ E ESPERANCA
NEED THIS
(Source: turbulen-ce, via iwillbesuperfit-deactivated2011)
HORNS
(via ellevsed)
<3
Monday 9th May 2011…
The day I will be finally free of uni work… given I don’t fail, due to the fact I’m sat here watching Jackass 3D and writing this instead of my uni work.
The first thing I will do, is renew my gym membership and head for a long awaited workout. Which I shall be doing 6 days a week - this WILL be the summer I wear short shorts without tights.
I will also be getting another tattoo… YAY! designed and ready to go… Actually to be correct, I will be getting several… MEGAYAY!
Also, a week after this date, I will be getting my nose ring!
Im INTENT on having a good summer! in SOUTHAMPTON <3
PAZ
RamblingMadeiraCake
